I'm an aspiring malcontented poet, although my paycheck comes from working for a services provider. I was born, bred, buttered and educated in Bangalore and decided not to move anywhere else and circumstances conveniently proved benevolent. I subsist on orange juice and chocolates, sometimes I look at people and wonder what happened here, but I too am tragically flawed in cozy isolation. I am self-indulgent and a hedonist, the carnal is just as appetizing as the spiritual, sometimes more.

When I look at the sky at night, I wonder whether pain and love are just two vibrations of the same source, I am definitely a creature of the night, probably the woman in the moon. I feel her pain, she is ever chasing her man the sun, each night she dies a lonely death, so her man might augment for another day. I am not a linear thinker, I procrastinate, I ponder, I wonder, I imagine, I feel we all are wounded healers, I wish I could tell you something I feel certain about and do something about what I feel strongly and believe in.

You know how, when you hear a great song for the first time, you just keep playing it over and over again in your mind, it's 2 am and I'm still awake, writing a song, if I get it all down on paper, its no longer inside me, threatening the life it belongs to, and I feel like I'm exposed in front of the crowd, cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud, and I know that you'll interpret them, however you want to....sometimes I think our perspective of reality is so distorted and ego-centric, the abstract world is terribly fascinating in this respect. Ultimately I think it really is all abstract, in that we have no clue what the hell is really going on, as much progress as we might make technologically or spiritually, we'll always come back to the basics, love your god and love your neighbor, I don't know where exactly we got lost on the way to heaven, but in my limited study of the religions out there, religions distract and lead people astray. It's too easy to search for the messiah or the Buddha, coz that way somebody else does the work, leaves no responsibility upon the individual, simply one who 'submits' to the will of god.

I sometimes wonder what's worse, laziness or fear, ultimately I think fear results from laziness itself, you have to just gloss over the words, for the words are just vehicles, I believe this isn't a physical world with a spiritual dimension but rather a spiritual world with a physical dimension, if you wake up one morning realizing you don't know anything, then you're awake, if you still think you know something, then you're still asleep, if you're still trying to know, you're still trying to control, if you're still trying to control then you still think something can go wrong, if you still think something can go wrong then you're not in touch with the omnipotent, if you're not in touch with the omnipotent then you live in fear, you're finally living in the fear that you yourself have created and that you're trying to get away from.

I think our condition serves as a guide back to one's own self, the place where we all came from, this whole experience of life is like a jigsaw puzzle, every time I think I see the big picture, some new pieces get added, and the picture changes, there is so much work to do, so many layers to peel, so many wounds, my current view is that we are composed of three bodies: physical, emotional and spiritual...and each body require daily care, kind of like how you got to give daily attention to house plants. For the physical aspect I guess it boils down to good eating and working out, whereas emotional and spiritual are a lot tougher, to a certain extent you and I have inherited certain dispositions from our ancestors, all of this is in our DNA of course, I think our DNA contains not only genes for our physical bodies but also for our emotional and spiritual bodies as well, so we not only inherit physical weaknesses but also all the broken hearts and demons that have haunted our people, and others especially since historically they've absorbed so much pain for our families, so essentially you have to heal all three bodies, most importantly you have to find peace, in whatever manner you have to seek them every day.

May the force be with you.